Madi Conrad- Journal Five

Madi Conrad

English 1109 at 1:30-3:30, M-W

Wednesday, October 9th, 2019

Journal Five

Part One- Cisneros Response:

         The chapter in Cisneros that was the most meaningful to me was Papa Who Wakes Up Tired in the Dark. This chapter was the most meaningful to me because I was able to relate to it the most out of the entire book. In this chapter I marked the words “ Esta muetro” which means he is dead. Those two words along with the sentences from Cisneros, on page 56 where she describes the situation that is occurring and how her father is reacting, “I have never seen my Papa cry and don’t know what to do” , “... uncles and aunts will be there , and they will have a black-and-white photo taken in front of the tomb with flowers shaped like spears in a white vase.. ” (Cisneros 56). These sentences spoke to me the most out of the entire book and make this chapter very meaningful to me because I have recently lost at least one relative I was very close with every year for the past five years and it has been one of the most difficult experiences to go through.

         I recently lost my closest great grandpa who was struggling with Alzheimers on top of many other things so when he passed he was finally in a place where he wouldn’t have to suffer any longer. He served in the military so as they carried his casket out of the funeral home, they proceeded with the twenty-one gun salute. That was one of the first times I had ever witnessed my dad cry. It has never been easy for my dad and I to let go of our family members that have recently passed but, as my dad and I recently grew a lot closer with great grandpa before he passed because we had known for about two years that he was deteriorating in his condition and each time he was admitted to the hospital they told us that his chances were getting slimmer of living. As a reader, Cisneros had a way of writing this chapter that made it feel like I was not the only one going through this. I felt that someone had finally understood what I was going through unlike when I tell people how many close relatives I have lost in the past five years, they do not really understand what it is like to go through such a heart aching situation repeatedly. It was like I wasn't the only star alone in the sky anymore. Someone finally understood my experience.

Part Two-Story of a Local Role Model:

         Throughout my life I have had many people who have influenced me in some way, including my parents. One of my biggest influencers throughout my life that I had not really thought as much about until now, is my papa. Throughout his life he didn't always make the best of decisions. He left my grandma, sold drugs and was sent to prison. He was never there during my dad’s life but, he later started making his way back into my family’s lives. When I was born and through my first few years I don’t really remember much of him other than seeing him in the occasional photographs. So you’re probably wondering well how did this guy that is popping in and out of your life influence you. When I was around 10 years old after many things in my life had finally began to settle down after my parents divorced, they both remarried, and I had become more fully settled in Ohio, my papa came back into my life and began to show me that if you work hard enough anything is possible.

         He also showed me how throughout all the mistakes I will continue to make you can still achieve your goals even if it takes you a little longer to get there. My papa showed me how to work hard by the way he would work in his shop and practice racing dirt bikes before his races. The first and only race I ever went to of his he won, he worked extremely hard to get there and he succeeded. He still continues to influence me as he makes mistakes, breaking promises, finding ways to work harder, using his mistakes as motivation to earn each and every person’s trust back. He knows that he has to work hard to gain the trust back from everyone if he wants to be a part of our family. I continue to work hard every day to achieve my goals, such as working hard to earn money to becoming a strong leader and being elected as a committee chair on the Circle K board at Ohio State as a first year.

My papa is the one standing next to me in the blue shirt. 

This photo is from my graduation party with my dad's side of the family.

My grandma and my dad are in this picture as well.